Welcome to RIAG.ie
Delighted that you have visited RIAG.ie
Feel free to have a look around – there are plenty of interesting articles on the site. RIAG – or The Russian Irish Adoption Group – aim to provide information and news of interest to our members, family and friends.
Our members are parents of children adopted in Ireland – from Russian and surrounding countries – and also children, teens and young adults who have been adopted – can be members too. This site changes regularly – so please do come back for another visit another time.
You can contact us here - contact RIAG
About RIAG - The Russian Irish Adoption Group
Set up to help adopters [Parents] and adoptees [children,teens, young adults – build and sustain a network of friends who have international adoption as a common interest. Our members either have adopted or are adopted from Russia and surrounding countries. There are almost 2000 individuals adopted from those regions and now living in Ireland. RIAG aim to provide them with a platform to engage or simply to browse – as they wish.
RIAG is a small not for profit organisation – set up in 2008 by a group of parents.
RIAG has a constitution and a management committee. The current committee is:
Chair: Marie Hunt.
HonTreasurer: Owen Wynne.
Hon Sec: Rob Jefferson.
Membership manager: Jennifer Reilly.
Communications: Mary MacCabe
Other members: Marina Doyle, Geraldine Kriegel, Regina Faherty.
RIAG has as its main purpose – the provision of a network for members who are adopted or have adopted from Russia and Surrounding Countries. This network can be for the purpose of sharing of information through parents events, the provision of social structures for parents and children – or other ad hoc activities.
Written by Sally Ann Peterson:
‘I decided to start a new thread regarding sexual abuse by trusted adults (or strangers).
When I was a kid, I grew up in a really rough area. We lived near "Broadway" where the prostitutes and drugs dealers were very common sights. My parents also did foster care, so I knew about sexual abuse.
I also noticed some "patterns" from a young age because of family friends and other people in the neighborhood, long before I took a Sexual Abuse Prevention Training from a Tarrant County (Fort Worth) Forensic Investigator who worked for the DA's office:
Serial Sexual Abusers of Children are frequently:
*The people you trust the most with your kids
*The most generous people - they give LOTS of gifts
*Spend most of their time with kids (in their career field & through volunteering
Serial Sexual Abusers of Children will spend YEARS grooming children AND THEIR FAMILIES. They will work very hard to gain your trust so that you will allow them to spend time alone with your child. Once the abuse starts, they will continue to groom the parents but will isolate the child, shame them, and threaten them.
One of the warning signs that a person MIGHT be grooming is they give lots of gifts, constantly volunteer to be alone with children, and tell off-color jokes. This was one I had not heard of or noticed. They tell the jokes to see who runs home to tell - then they know NOT to mess with that child because they are more likely to tell about abuse. This also helps them tell which parents are more absent in their child's life and therefore make a child preferential.
Children of single mom's are often ideal targets because so many of the moms are struggling financially and might trust to easily if a man showers her with money and gifts. They also appreciate having a willing and free babysitter. (I have seen this too many times).
Warning Signs in the Child:
*A child suddenly becomes sullen or withdrawn (could be caused by other things but watch for a combination of warning signs)
*A child suddenly is less enthusiastic about being around a trusted adult. They may not want to go to scouts, church, or sports practice anymore.
*A child suddenly stops using good hygiene.
Each of these warning signs CAN be attributed to other things, but a combination of can be a warning sign. DO NOT start asking if they have been abused! They will shut down completely, deny, and be less likely to open up. Also, asking questions and guiding the conversation makes it impossible to prosecute.
Children may not outcry until they are adults. This is most often the case. BUILD RELATIONSHIP with your child so that they know they can trust you with anything without you freaking out.
IF/WHEN a child outcries about sexual abuse:
*Just listen - do not question or give advice
*When they are finished, tell them how brave they were to tell you
*WRITE IT ALL DOWN while it is fresh in your mind.
*Call the DA's office. The first person who should ask questions is the Forensic Investigator. THIS IS CRITICAL
*After this, assure the child that they did the right thing. You love them and will be there with them through this.
MANY, MANY times, a child will recant after an outcry because they see how upset everyone gets and life becomes messy. They just want to go back to how it was before - when they were the only one that was hurting.
The Forensic Investigator who taught my class said that they had a pastor who'd molested many, many kids, including his grandson. Yet when the **** hit the fan, the grandson recanted and the case wound up being dropped. Everyone believed the pastor who said the child was lying and acted all loving and forgiving. One day, the son broke down and told his mom (the pastor's daughter) that it had really happened but he didn't want everyone to be upset. Fortunately, she immediately called the DA's office and the man was finally tried and convicted.
I can tell you many, many stories from my own life (friends and family) that fit this pattern. I do not trust ANYONE with children. Even when I work with children, I make sure that I follow safety protocols.
*No-one should be alone with a child. In a volunteer situation - there should ALWAYS be another adult present. This protects the child from abuse, and the adult from false accusations. Many volunteer organizations no longer allow spouses to be the "other adult" because they are often complicit in the cover-up.
*If an organization does not insist on safety (prevention) protocols, do not allow your child to participate. This indicates a mindset that "Nothing bad could possibly happen here" which fosters the ability of the abuser to abuse freely.’