Many of you are already aware that RIAG is not a formal registered charity and is not an accredited body in any way. Therefore – we are neither authorised nor qualified to advise any members in the area of tracing birth parents/families.
Of course it would be naive of us to think that our members are not already sharing information on experiences they have had with searchers/agencies and indeed social media. Our members have already shared some of these stories individually via our Forums. Our members – are naturally curious and wish to find out as much as they can about the birth parents of their adopted children. There is no ‘right’ ‘formal’ or ‘authorised’ way to do this. Hence – people will take advice anywhere they can get it.
The advice from RIAG is to talk to Barnardos before you start searching. The reason for this is that they are very experienced in managing the implications for your child – for you and for the birth parents. They will help equip you with what you need to know before you start.
Contact link below for https://www.barnardos.ie/our-services/work-with-families/post-adoption-service
In the RIAG forum – because of the sensitive nature of the content – please post only with your Nickname. If you don’t have a Nicknane set – please set one now. If you don’t know how – don’t worry – send a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org , provide your preferred nickname and we will do it for you.
Please don’t put any personal information about your child, your family, where you live or anything that could identify you or your family. Remember – this is not your story – it is your child’s story. You must protect their identity and their story at all costs.
In the forum section – you will see the names of two searchers. These two have been used by our members – which is why they are listed. RIAG hasn’t vetted them – we know very little about them – but members have put comments up – which you should consider before commencing.
Apparently some searchers do their searches on ‘Social Media’. https://vk.com/ is [I believe] the Russian equivalent of Facebook – it certainly looks and feels similar. With social media – anyone can do a search. All that is required is a small amount of detail. If your child has access to a smart phone and has even a small amount of information re their birth parents –they may very easily find them on Social Media. A more serious scenario – if your child’s ‘friends’ decide to do the search for them on VK or another site – the friends may find the birth family.
BUT searches conducted in this way may not end well. All parties in this dynamic need support during this process. Birth Parents need time to consider the implication of a birth child getting in touch. Adopted children need to be prepared for a scenario that is not what they have dreamed of. I don’t mean this flippantly – but Russian Princesses are probably rarely adopted. The reality is that the birth parents of children adopted in Ireland from Russia –have been in difficult situations.
I say it again – RIAG are not allowed to advise….but if we were we would advise you to go through this process with the support of the highly skilled team at Barnardos. Do it as a family – and prepare really well for whatever the outcome is. Thank you.